The Secret Life of Boys

For many of you... those who are of the female persuasion, or those who are "elderly" and don't have kids, or "adolescent" and don't have kids or... those who just don't pay much attention to the boys around them, I have some insight to share with you on, "The Secret Life of Boys"

Recently (as posted on this BLOG) I have started to help with Jacob's football practice.  With about a dozen boys (aged between 7 - 10 years old) running around in protective equipment, I get a keen (and rarely ever revealed) insight into the budding, testosterized mind of BOYS.  Our first EXPOSE' on, "The Secret Life of Boys," will focus on the - back seat.

First off, I must remind you that this is a FAMILY BLOG.  So when I say back seat, what I really mean is broad daylight, two boys decked out in football gear with little in the form of entertainment.  There's little entertainment because my wife drives the new Saturn Outlook (with the DVD player) while I drive the older (but WAY BETTER) Honda Accord V6 w/sunroof (no DVD player)... what do I care about the entertainment available to those back-seaters, I'm up front - DRIVING.

As even the most casual observer will notice, whenever two or more boys are gathered into a relatively tight space, touching will occur - quickly.  In a matter of minutes (sometimes seconds) touching will escalate to hitting, grapling and wrestling.  If you are of the female persuasion, just face it - you won't understand, but trust me, boys will touch and then fight.  Note to parents - forks should not be kept in the backseat.  Heed that warning because fighting between boys will NEVER be limited to just hands and knuckles.  If there's an object which can even remotely serve to: (1) extend the striking reach (2) increase the striking velocity (3) leave a cool looking mark on the skin of the "target" or (4) makes a cool sound when it strikes flesh, rest assured, BOYS will use to strike their freinds, or even acquientances.

I now submit to you, "the outsider" Plaintiff's Exhibit A & B:

Picutred above, in Plaintiff's Exhibit A: Jake (left) and Jack (right)
Pictured below, in Plaintiff's Exhibit B: Jake (left) and Jack (right, obscured)

I know what you're thinking... and yes, now would be a good time to recall my earlier post on the new shapes, sizes and colors of the "cup."  If you are of the female persuasion... OK guys, because the ladies have now stopped reading, I know the question your asking.  Refering to the earlier "rules" of BOYS and what kind of object they'll use to hit someone else... you're asking yourself, "I wonder what that sounds like?"